Labour in crisis after key workers in essential services threaten to quit country

Pride's Purge


The leadership of the Labour Party were in crisis talks today after it was revealed that Britain could face severe shortages of tired old TV presenters, has-been pop singers and shite stage magicians if a victorious Labour government introduces its policy of taxing mansions worth more than £2 million after the next election.

The warnings come after key workers in essential public services such as worn-out light entertainment, middle-of-the-road pop music and outdated hackneyed old comedy acts threatened to quit the country should Ed Miliband become the next Prime Minister.

In unrelated news, a new opinion poll indicates Labour could attract as many as 89% of the votes at the next election if it announced policies that would make Gary Barlow leave the country as well as Griff Rhys Jones, Phil Collins and Paul Daniels.


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